Thursday, April 4, 2013

Just as it should be

When I found out I was pregnant I immediately began to wonder if this little person inside of me was a little boy or a little girl. Even though I told people I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl I not so secretly was hoping for a house full of pink in my future. It wasn't that I didn't want a son it's just that I was scared of having a son. Much like my husband is scared of having a daughter one day (I think his gun collection will grow exponentially if we ever do).

Despite having two older brothers, I didn't know much about life with a little boy. I didn't know how I was going to play with him. How we were going to bond.  I'm a girly girl through and through. Tea parties? Check! Dress up? Check! Doll babies? You got it! But a little boy?

Once we found out we were having a son visions of sticks and dirt and trains and legos replaced the tea parties and barbie dolls (and yes I realize these are complete generalizations and gender stereotypes, it is what it is). I wouldn't say I was disappointed when I found out we were having a boy, after all I did (and still do) ideally want one of each, I was just nervous about how we would bond.

Growing up I was a mama's girl. I was my mom's little shadow, always wanting to be with her, dressing up in her clothes and playing in her makeup. That's what I knew and I had always envisioned a similar relationship one day with my daughter. Having a son, I knew Kristian would have no trouble bonding; they would go camping, fishing, play with trucks ect. But what about me? I have no interest in camping, fishing bores me and I don't know how to "play" trucks. Yes I realize this all sounds ridiculous but these were my thoughts and fears.

But here I am 15 months later and I can say with 110% certainty that I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a boy mom. I can't imagine not having this little man in my life. Yes he is very much a "typical" boy. He loves to crash his firetruck into the wall, he loves to run around in the woods out back and pick up sticks, he is already rough and tumble and exactly as I picture his daddy to be as a toddler. But he is also incredibly sweet and loving and extremely funny. He will randomly stop what he's doing to come give me a hug. He will hold onto my legs in the morning while I put on makeup and rest his head on my shoulder as I carry him to bed. And when he blows me a kiss as I leave him at daycare? Basically I melt into a puddle of mommy love. He's my little buddy, my lovebug, my most favoritest little boy in the whole wide world.

And as for those fears of "how will I play with him?" well turns out that I'm a natural boy mom. I quite enjoy playing with the building blocks and racing cars with him on the coffee table. I love playing outside with him and watch him run around the playground, always wanting to climb on things. I'm excited to watch him catch his first fish and play in his first soccer game. I love knowing that I am the first woman that he will ever love and I get weepy picturing us dancing together at his wedding.

As I was sitting on the living room floor the other day helping him put together his lego blocks I couldn't help but smile knowing without a shred of doubt that having this little boy in my life, having a son, was just as it should be.

13 comments:

Sean Marie said...

I wanted a boy when I was pregnant. I had always envisioned having a mama's boy tug at my leg. Now I feel the same as you do about the gender of my child! I can't imagine things any differently. I think everyone secretly has a preference at first, and then of course loves the hand they were dealt!

The Hudack Family said...

that is so sweet! You are an amazing mom.

Stephanie said...

Aww, I love this. With us welcoming a son next month after only knowing how to parent a girl, it's nice to get a mom's perspective of being a "boy mom." It sounds perfect!

Nessa said...

This made me smile. I wanted a girl, and I got her, and now I really really want a boy for my next (and probably last) child. My nephew was 3 when my daughter was born so I'd already experienced cars, trains, and the rough ball of energy that he is. I hope I get to experience it again with my own boy.

Kristen said...

I really didn't have a preference either way when I was pregnant (I have a younger brother or sister so I was used to being around both and playing with boy and girl toys).

BUT I can't imagine my life with a little girl instead of a little boy right now!

Fiona said...

Such a lovely post! Isn't it wonderful how things just seem to work out the way they should? You were meant to be Hunter's mama and you are doing an amazing job of it!! :) I am so glad you fell so naturally into place as a boy mom!

Meagan said...

Couldn't have said it better myself! I still think I could rock the girl mom thing but I'm totally ok with no girls too because I love being a boy mom. Teenage girls scare me! Just today I was wondering how do you figure out how to cut their hair?! It's so easy with boys!

princess apr said...

Boys do stay cuddly longer, don't get as independent as quickly which is nice. I love the honesty of boys. The energy is draining though.

I also think how you raise your child in the toddler years comes back in the teen years. It's important to stay strong and firm at the toddler stage, I don't know why people think they can be different just because the kids are older.

Rob didn't want a boy. He said the pressure to raise a man is bigger. He also likes that it is more socially acceptable for a girl to enjoy everything so he can have a girl go shopping with me but also then watch sports with him. Society is stricter with boy stereotypes.

I do love that about having a girl. We've played Legos, went to a hockey game, went to the Air & Space Museum and colored all week, nice mix of activities.

Laura said...

so sweet. I feel the same way you did about the thought of having a boy one day - I'll say that I don't care - but I envision me with a girl and worry I won't know what to do with a boy. This post has made me feel better about either outcome :)

Heather said...

This is such a sweet post! I do ideally want a girl someday, but I also know so many awesome moms with sons that I'm excited about the possibility of raising a boy, too.

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

Boys are awesome! I felt the same way as you when I was pregnant with my first. I desperately wanted a girl, even though I had a feeling it was a boy. We didn't find out the gender, but as soon as I saw him at birth, I fell in love! And they truly do adore their mamas!

Stephanie said...

I was the exact opposite when we were waiting to find out what Connor was. I had no clue what I would do with a girl. I am too much of a tomboy to have a little girl.

I am looking forward to raising a little boy, dirt, trucks and all. You have shown me through your blog and IG, how fun a little guy can be.

Nicole-Lynn said...

I enjoyed reading this post. It's interesting to find out how people feel when they are pregnant and their expectations. My husband and I would love to have a baby boy first, but every now and then I envision a little girl running around. I guess we just adapt to a boy or girl and it just becomes natural. You're a great mom and I love seeing how happy your little boy (and hubby) make you! xo