Thursday, April 11, 2013

How much is Too Much?

Something I've been wrestling with lately, and part of why I haven't been posting as much, is because I've been thinking more and more about how much information is appropriate to put on this little ol' blog of mine. I realize that I'm not a "big" blogger with thousands of people reading each day. And thank GOD for that, too be honest it would creep me out. But the fact is anyone can stumble upon this little space of mine and read about my life. I try to keep a certain level of privacy, I don't advertise our last name (though it has appeared a few times), or our address, or my social security number etc. My goal is to keep as little about myself and especially my son off of potential google searches.

My husband knows about this blog, however he doesn't read it (so he claims) and very rarely will he specifically tell me not to blog about something (typically something embarrassing that he's done) but I always try to think to myself "would it bother me if he wrote that about me on the Internet?" before I post anything about him. The same goes for my son. I would never want him (or his friends or future wife) to read this blog when he's older and be embarrassed or upset about what I put out there for the world to read or see. At the same time I do view this blog as a diary of sorts. As a memory keeper since I am horrible about writing things down and my memory is shit. I also don't ever want to sugar coat things or put on an appearance of having some picture perfect life by only posting the good stuff, because I don't, and because I think it's important to also remember the bad times, the hard times. It's how you grow and how you learn.

I read a lot of blogs and there are many (that shall remain nameless) where I just shake my head at the stuff they put out there for everyone, including their children when they are older, to read.  Yes you can delete posts but nothing is ever really gone from the Internet and considering how much more advanced our children are with technology nowadays I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find these things.

So basically I've been wrestling with how much I really want to put on here in regards to my relationship with my husband and my child and his development. Yes these are my stories to tell but they are their stories as well.

Where do you draw the line with what you post?  

13 comments:

Brittany said...

it can be so hard to decide what you want to put out there for the world to see! Sometimes I write up posts about something that I know I probably won't publish and just leave them as drafts

Heather said...

I think this is a really important question, and it's one I've asked myself, too. Since I am a freelance writer, I do share my full name on my blog, but that said, I am also careful to not share too much personal, private information about my marriage and family. I think each blogger has to decide what he or she is comfortable with, but like you, I am often surprised at the types of things people post about their children.

Stephanie said...

This is a difficult subject, and one I think changes as we go through different aspects of our life. My blog started out as an infertility blog, then pregnancy blog, and now mom blog. I too want to portray my real life, the good and the bad, but at the same time not reveal too much information. Like my "Betrayed" post. I wanted advice for so long on how to deal with the issues, but knew I absolutely did not and could not put much information out there. When others besides my immediate family are involved, I try to shy away from writing about it, unless I can be vague. My feelings might change as my kids get older, but I view my blog as I diary too and like the details I am able to write about now.

Nat said...

It really is a fine line. I've actually been blogging for about 4 years I used to hold back a lot more than I do now. There are still things that are completely off limits to me. For instance I try not to share pictures of friends/family members babies/kids unless I tell them and they give me permission. I also leave a lot of stuff about my husband off my blog- it's rare to see a pic of him or hear about him b/c I don't want to jeopardize his job/career by oversharing on the internet.
I'm very worried about what I'm going to do with a new baby- do I tell everyone his name or not- if I share his name on my blog will it show up in google one day when he's trying to get a job! What about pictures of him- is it fair for me to plaster them all over the internet? It's so tough!

Stephanie said...

Sometimes I hold back a little because I think what if a future employer reads this? Someone at church? My parents' friends? I try to keep my blog real because I, too, use it as a way to remember our lives on a daily/weekly/monthly basis but I agree, sometimes, too much is shared.

Jennifer said...

I kind of feel the same way. I shudder at every single potty training post and other posts where people are so annoyed at their kids. And when people complain about work? Don't even get me started. I think that's so bad!

I use initials, not our actual names just in case one day someone is searching for one of us. At least this will make my blog a little harder to find!

Ramblings of a Suburban Mom

K said...

It is such a fine line. I just try to respect the fact that while I may be comfortable with sharing certain things, no one else in my life signed up for this blog to chronicle their life. It is hard, especially when you want to use it as a diary of sorts. I think you are doing good though. You have all these great posts to look back on and remember every moment.

Fiona said...

I have thought about this so much and really don't know the right answer but think I am in a similar position as you in that I want to have this place to record memories and thoughts but don't want to share anything that could be hurtful to my husbad or daughter. It is tough and maybe we aren't doing it the way everyone would recommend but I think what works for us and our families is most important.

princess apr said...

I hold back a bit. My mom's friends follow my blog, for instance. Most of my location updates are after-the-fact. I don't put names at all though there was one instance where Laura's name was mentioned. Also, if people found me on others' blogs, I do give away family first names, just not on my own blog. I think I mostly do it because of Rob's job. We use the blog mostly for records and to see what we've done.

I try not to put pictures of other kids apart from my nephews. I think some have been shown in the back of the fair or soccer practice, but I don't post any of her friends or things like that without permission.

HickChickBritt said...

I have thought about going private, but then I wouldn't meet anyone new. I try to keep all of my posts light hearted and not about anything important in our lives. I use this to keep track of Hayes's stats and such. The idea of people somewhere knowing a lot about me is kind of creepy. I don't know.

Nessa said...

Speaking as a regular reader of yours, I don't think you post anything that would ever upset or embarrass anyone.
Something I think I might post a little too much, but at the same time I usually know where to draw the line because I know my ex reads my blog, so I never post anything that I wouldn't want him or my friends to know. My boyfriend knows of my blog but doesn't read it. I think I would be a little less honest about our relationship if I knew he read it, but at the same time I wouldn't care if he read what I previously wrote about him. I try to only write nice things :p
But I really get your point. It's so hard to know what's ok and what's not ok to post. Sometimes what seems simple and innocent to us, wouldn't seem the same to someone else.

Nicole-Lynn said...

There definitely is a fine line. I've seen on other blogs where they have a big following and are basically being bullied by commenters. It's sad. I try to hold back a little when I blog. Everyone doesn't need to know every detail about our lives and I like it that way!

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

I don't share our last name, street name, photos of the front of my house, or the names of the schools my children attend. If any of that information ever appears in pictures, I photoshop it out.