Tuesday, September 14, 2010

PWD = Post Wedding Depression

One question that Kristian kept asking me during the whole wedding planning process was "what are you going to do after the wedding?" i.e. "what are you going to do without having a wedding to obsess over?" and my response was always "NOTHING" and I couldn't wait. A lot of brides suffer from PWD or Post Wedding Depression and I would be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that feared I would also be a casualty of PWD. After all I had been mentally planning my wedding since I was old enough to know what a wedding was. When you wait 30 years for one event it would be totally natural to feel a bit deflated after it was over. But you know what? I really didn't have much PWD!

Oh yes there have been and still are times when I get a little down, even almost 4 months out. It usually occurs when one or more of the following happen:

-When a  friend announces their engagement...I can't help but feel a bit envious of all the excitement they have ahead of them.

-I see some other amazing wedding photos be it in a magazine or on a blog...I continue to see such cool ideas that I wish I had had the time, money or creativity to incorporate into my own wedding.

-When another month passes and I get further away from being a "newlywed". I like being a "shiny new wife", as Kristian likes to call me. And even though I complain about people constantly asking me how married life is, it's nice that people are interested. I know it won't last forever.

But then I breathe a sigh of relief and relish the fact that wedding planning is over when I think about all the not so fun parts of it such as:

-The constant stress and anxiety of planning and paying for a wedding.

-Managing family and friends and vendors and making sure that everyone knows what they are doing or where they are going. And having to constantly answer a million questions or make a million different decisions.

-Having to save every penny for the wedding and not be able to do the fun things you want to because of it.

-Spending most of your nights and weekends working on wedding stuff rather than just hanging out and doing fun things with the person you are marrying.

As stressful as it was at times, I did have a lot of fun planning my wedding and going through the whole process of it. However I'm totally happy that it's over and I can just be back to my normal life with some amazing memories to look back on. That doesn't however, mean that I don't still enjoy reading wedding blogs or watching wedding shows (much to Kristian's disappointment) but now I'm ready to look forward to the other big life events like buying a house or having a baby or planning my 10 year vow renewal :-)

I think one of the things that really helped me was being able to recap the wedding on this blog. I was able to share all the photos and relive all the moments again and now I have a wonderful record of it all to keep and look back on.

Have you/will you experience any PWD?


Bicoastal Bride said...

I have experienced it to some extent, because I loved planning our wedding so much, but I've now been able to enjoy looking at our photos and video, plus giving brides advice from "the other side," which is a nice perspective to have. Plus, since I'm still involved with a few wedding-related activities, I don't really feel I've left it behind entirely.

Marian said...

You know, I've really been thinking about this for the last few weeks. Will I be sad when its all over? Lately its been so stressful trying to get everything done and I just want to get it all over with...I need to remind myself to cherish it all. But when push comes to shove, I don't think...I'm hoping...I don't get depressed. Of course all that planning and time goes into this one day that goes by so quickly how can one not be sad that it is over. But like you said...we've been saving for 15 months and I'll be able to buy things I want or go out and do things cause I don't have to worry about saving anymore.

april said...

I didn't have a lot of stress with the wedding planning. I made the decisions and delegated almost everything. I was happy to be married which was my only goal. No interest in vow renewal though the idea of another party is appealing (we passed 10 years last year so I guess I'd have to wait for the 15th anniversary at this point).

Kristen said...

I have been wondering if I will suffer from PWD.. I love looking for things to incorporate in the wedding, crafting and planning. I do not however enjoy not spending money anywhere else!

I am planning to study for the GRE after the wedding, so hopfully that will help fill the new "free time" a bit!

Nicole-Lynn said...

I am not yet married but I do think I will have a little PWD! However, I know I will imerse myself into something else to occupy my time so I don't think it will last long!

I can totally relate to feeling stressed about paying for things, and not being able to do certain things because we're saving for the wedding. It's so frustrating and I can't wait for that part to be over! :)

bekapaige said...

I loved planning our wedding but I have not missed that stage of life one bit. I think part of it is that we still have "new" things to look forward to- moving to a "forever" town, buying our first house together, having a baby, etc. I do miss projects, so I'm doing more crafty little things like I used to do during wedding planning.

Also- I still call us newlyweds and we've been married almost a year and a half. So wear that label as long as you want to! :)

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Almost 2 years later I still get a little jealous when I watch Say Yes to the Dress that I won't ever get to do that again. (And yes I Still watch wedding shows!)

I was pretty lucky to have my honeymoon planning to busy me right after the wedding since we didn't go until 3 months later. If we had done it all at once, I can see the major let down when you get home. I liked having something else to look forward to!

Summer {Bisfor...} said...

I did experience it and sometimes even now I look at pictures of people's weddings and think, I wish I had known about that back then.

Hang in there, sweetums!

Mrs. Lopez said...

I haven't experienced PWD. I will admit that when I look at other wedding stuff I wish I could have done some different stuff for example I would have chosen a different dress and a different hairstyle.

But I'm so thankful that I dont have the stress of planning a wedding any more.

EmilyB said...

This is so weird...I was JUST thinking about this today. I totally miss my wedding and I actually miss planning. I'm a freak, I know. But I'm a planner at heart and even though I was stressed, I LOVED it.

I'm hoping to get into event planning as a career so once that happens (aka once some one hires me) I think that will fill the void. Plus, I was the first of my friends to get married so I have tons of wedding planning to look forward to in the future :)

bananas. said...

i have to be honest...i think PWD is weird. it's like YOU'RE MARRIED! that was the whole point!!! BE HAPPY!!!

but that's just me and sometimes i dance to my own beat.

Mrs. Wedding Crasher said...

Wow thanks for saying what I was thinking but not saying out loud lol. It is a little hard to go from the "wedding world" to "reality". Less stress with planning is nice but yeah you feel a withdrawal, well at least I did ... PWD anonymous over here!

Brunch at Saks said...

I don't know if I will have it one day- but knowing my personality and how my OCD goes overboard with planning, I'm sure I will have PWD! New to your blog and really love it! Can't wait to read more :) xoxo

Cheryl Ann said...

none for me. i couldn't have been happier when the wedding was over - it was a blast and an awesome party, just like we wanted. we planned it in 4 months and there is no way in hell you could PAY me to do that shiz again.

start planning your housewarming party! sounds like you're looking for the perfect house now, which means you've got time ;)

Teenage Bride said...

I have been married for almost 2 years and I still suffer from PWD lol

Mrs T said...

I feel exactly the same way. Plus it helps that I'm moving onto project house now!