Before we got married Kristian and I discussed what we would do about merging finances. Because of how he grew up and watching his parents he felt that we should completely merge everything and share all accounts and credit cards like his parents do. After watching my parent's messy divorce and the financial toll it took on my mom I felt strongly about having at least some of my money separate. He wasn't happy about this, he viewed it as my planning for a potential divorce which really wasn't my intention, I just think it's smart for ALL women to have some level of financial independence even if they are married.
After talking to some married friends and going back and forth we decided we would have one main shared account which all our bills would be paid from as well as a shared savings account to save for trips, new cars etc. In addition to that we would each keep a separate personal account. This way we would have our own fun money to spend how we wish. Now I can't bitch at him if he wants to buy a new fishing pole and he can't bitch at me for buying new shoes whenever I want. This is also the money we would use when buying gifts for each other.
We went on Friday to open up our first joint checking and savings account and it was definitely a surreal experience, after all I've never shared an account with a boy before!
Sidenote- we have a shared credit card and another shared savings account with a different bank that we set up strictly for wedding expenses but Kristian's never used either so even though his name is on both I feel like they are both just mine.
We still need to figure out the logistics of how much of each paycheck will go in the joint account vs. our personal accounts. It's hard since his job is commission based so instead of a bi-monthly paycheck he'll get one big commission check every month or so.
It's going to be a big adjustment for me. I'm not good at sharing, either my food or my money. I don't mind spending money on things for us or writing him a check to pay my part of the bills but knowing he has full access to my money at anytime does admittedly make me a bit uncomfortable. It's not because I don't trust him...it's not that AT ALL, it's just a change and I don't like change. Like I said I've always been very independent and protective of my finances and sharing money I think is one of the biggest forms of trust you can have with another person.
Share time- How do/will you handle sharing finances with your significant other?