Monday, August 30, 2010


This past weekend we helped celebrate Kristian's grandmothers 90th birthday!!! On Saturday night we went to his grandmother's house where the whole family gathered for dinner and drinks. All of the aunts and uncles were in attendance and I finally got to meet the one uncle, whose a brain surgeon btw, that I still had left to meet. He unfortunately couldn't make it to our wedding though his wife (my FIL's sister did come to the wedding). It was a great night and K's grandmother seemed to really enjoy herself. She's actually in amazing shape physically and mentally for a 90 year old.

I have to say that part of the evening was a tad awkward for us. See Kristian's cousin and his wife were also at the party. They also recently got married back in July. We weren't able to attend the wedding so this was my first time meeting them both.

We ran into K's mom outside when we first arrived and she mentioned that it turned out that his cousins wedding pictures didn't come out well at all. Apparently they had a friend of the family take the photos. Not sure if the photographer was a professional or just someone with a fancy camera but regardless most of their pictures came out blurry and out of focus. Needless to say they were very upset. And I can't blame them, I would have been devastated!

After hearing this I made a point to not talk too much about our wedding and definitely not our pictures. This worked out fine until one of Kristian's other aunts arrived (she went to both of our weddings) and immediately started gushing about how fabulous she thought our pictures are and how they should be in a magazine etc. etc. Right in front of K's cousin. She made no mention of their wedding despite having just gone to it. I just thanked her, said we liked the pictures as well and tried to change the subject.

She then sits down and takes out her camera to start taking pictures of everyone. She took one of me and Kristian and again starts going on and on about how were so photogenic and look so good together etc. She really didn't say anything to Kristian's cousin but did take their picture as well.

Then during dinner they were all asking about our honeymoon in St. Lucia and saying how they've heard so many wonderful things about it. Kristian's cousins wife started talking about their upcoming belated honeymoon to Jamaica which no one seemed all that interested in. Again cue the awkwardness.

Towards the end of the night the cousin's wife asked us if we lived close by (they live out of state and don't make it down to the area very often). We said we lived about 30 minutes away and she was like "oh you must come over a lot, you must be the favorite grand-child". Uhhh. How do you respond to that?! We just kind of laughed it off and didn't say much.

It was really nice to hear all the compliments about our wedding and our photos but I just felt incredibly uncomfortable and bad for his cousins. And maybe they didn't notice or didn't care but I still felt bad about the whole situation. Fortunately these aren't cousins that we will see very often since they live several states away.

Have any of you been in a similar situation where your wedding was being compared to another couples right in front of both of you? How did you handle it?


bananas. said...

never been in that situation -obviously, happily unmarried here ;) - but i can guess how awkward that would be.

on the other hand, those compliments are well deserved. your wedding was fabuloso! no wonder people are jockin!

Krystal said...

Eek! I'm currently dealing with something similar but different. I'm engaged and my fiance's brother has been with his lovely lady for 6 years and there's no ring on her hand. I just feel SO awkward about the whole thing... but maybe it's all in my head? I'm sure it wasn't that bad and if everyone kept gushing about your wedding it definitely wasn't your fault.

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Yikes. Holy awkward for sure! Thankfully I have not been in a situation like that!

Your wedding pics were amazing though!

Bicoastal Bride said...

Wow! I would have felt so uncomfortable! I haven't been in that situation yet, and I hope it doesn't happen. Sorry you experienced that, but I think you handled it in the best and only way you could. Eek!

EmilyB said...

Omg so awkward. Yikes! You handled it well, though. I'd probably react the same way. Smile, politely say thank you, and move the heck on.

Chocolate Lover said...

Never been in that situation but I think you handled it very well. Its not like you guys kept rubbing it in their face, or kept bringing up the topic. Its not your fault that others did either. Hopefully they can see that.

~KS said...

Since I'm not married, I haven't experienced this... but I feel your pain. I've had plenty of awkward moments in my time.... Sorry you had to deal with this :(

april said...

Can't say I have had that experience, but Rob's cousin did tell us at our own engagement party that she was going to beat us down the aisle. Of course, we were engaged for 2 years so that was totally possible. I felt better because she did beat us down the aisle but only because she got knocked up.

Second, Rob's cousin got married 3 weeks before us so there were some comparisons there (and they had 2 wedding receptions), but they didn't stay married long.

So, at the end of the day, even if we were compared and came out short, I feel we're superior and that's all that matters.

Nicole-Lynn said...

Oh wow, that would be so awkward being put in that position. I think you handled it with class though!

Born to be Mrs. Beever said...

I did have a little bit of an uncomfortable thing where my wedding was being compared to my sister's wedding from 3 years earlier. Her wedding was amazing and SO much fun. And she had things I didn't and I had things she didn't so they were two very different events. But both totally fun. However, I was much more into the decor and details than she was and so a lot of people were commenting on how 'nice' everything was as well as how fun it was because we had a zoo and a photobooth and a chocolate fountain and so on. But she had a candy bar and a way better DJ who kept people on the dance floor way longer and a way way better photographer than I did.

On the night of our wedding, my cousin could not stop yelling at me about how much fun they were having at our wedding. At one point he said to me (while my sister was standing right there) "Oh my gosh, Stacey...this wedding is a Grand Slam! I've never been to such a fun wedding!" And my sister looked at him and said "And what the hell was *my* wedding? Chopped liver?!?"

I felt horrible and later my mom and I were talking to her about how you really couldn't compare them because we were pretty different with our I had 16 months to plan my wedding and she only had 5 or 6. Big difference...regardless, I helped her realize that everyone had fun at BOTH weddings and there was no reason to compare them or be jealous.

Sounds like you handled your situation well :)

bekapaige said...

That is really awkward. We've had that happen a few times with family, and I've had it happen a couple times in work situations and it is just really hard to know what to say. I usually try to thank the person for the comments and then ask about the other person's wedding/honeymoon/plans... but definitely awkward