Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The List

For the past month I’ve been in the process of printing and assembling our invitations which I bought at Michael’s. I think they look great so far but the whole process has given me a headache and my printer almost became a wedding casualty last night when it decided to print shit crooked and have constant paper jams *angry fists*

Now that we are coming to the part of the process of addressing said invitations Kristian has once again been giving me shit on my part of the guest list. Keep in mind we already sent save the dates and Emily Post would roll over in her grave (she’s dead right?) if I didn’t invite someone who I sent a STD to so not much I can do regardless. Here’s the issue, we are trying to keep the guest list down to a reasonable number, though our ideas of reasonable are different. If it were up to him we would have just invited immediate family and maybe 3 friends each, my idea of reasonable is 100 people…50 people each. And when you consider most of those are couples that = 25 couples each which is not that many.

The problem lies in the fact that Kristian’s family is much bigger than mine. His mom has 3 siblings and his dad has 4 siblings plus their spouses AND Kristian decided he needed to include all first cousins. So basically his family alone is about 50 people. Once you throw in his groomsmen and like 3 friends he’s far exceeded the 50 person limit I was hoping for. Now my family on the other hand is much smaller…at least the family I actually see on a somewhat regular basis and therefore plan to invite. I’m not inviting all my cousins because I never see them. My family = like 15 people. Therefore I had more room to invite friends. Well Kristian is upset that I’m inviting more of my friends than he is. I keep “lovingly” pointing out that his family is much bigger than mine and therefore take up more spots on the list. This list can't be 75% his guests and 25% my guests simply because my family is smaller.

He was going through the list last night and questioning all my friends (the ones that I’m not super BFF’s with) and asking me “when was the last time you talked to her” or “who is this person again” or “why are we inviting them” Sigh. I really don’t like having to defend my guest list choices. Thanks to the sorority reunion from 2 weeks ago he’s now met all but one of the friends I’m planning to invite so I don’t see what the big effin deal is. It's not like the room will be full of strangers. He seems to feel that unless I talk to these people twice a day everyday they shouldn’t be invited. **Note I don’t talk to ANY of my friends twice a day everyday…not even my MOH.

Oh and of course we have to factor in our parent’s friends. When we told his mom that we couldn’t afford to invite her 5 BFF’s in addition to the two couples we were already including on their behalf they did offer to pay for their friends which is a big help. However our guest list which was suppose to be no more than 100 is now topping 115. I’m hoping after RSVP’s come back we’re in more of the 90 person range since that’s the budget I’ve been working with.


Larysse Tavares said...

Dear, this must be the worst part of all! I think it's also the only reason I wouldn't like to be engaged, making the list is awful and worst than this there is the limited number of people. =/

But I'm sure you two will do great! Best regards, Larysse :)

Cupcake Wedding said...

Your family? His family? You guys are getting married, right? It's your family as a couple.

bananas. said...

The guest list always seems so tricky. And then the family wants to invite more and more people. I think, though, that 115 is not bad. Bet it'll go down after RSVPs come in. Good luck!

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

Yeah we had a similar problem. Two huge families and lots of friends. We did stick to 50/50 each. Then we did about 15 mutual friends. It got a little scary because our ballroom could only fit 130 and we were getting a lot of yes rsvps and there was confusion on who was in fact invited because we had a couple drafts of the list. Everything worked out wonderfully and I only regret inviting one family that equaled 5 people that didn't give us a card or anything.

Stephanie said...

I feel you on the guest list issue. My hubs and I tried to keep things around 100, at my request for "small". The real problem was my mother rather than my hubby, or even his family. Guests list issues bring out the worst in wedding planning. Good luck getting everything set. Hope the lists come together. Regardless of the issues beforehand, the wedding will work out, and it will be magical!

brittany said...

GAH! the guest list is the devil! the only arguments tyler and i have add {in regards to the wedding. ha} are about the stinkin' guest list.

good luck lady.

Nicole-Lynn said...

I'm sure everything will get better and it'll be in the range you can afford... stay positive. We're having guest list issues too.

Dani said...

This is why we're getting married in Jamaica...it sure weeds out a lot of people! I didn't want to pay for a fancy dinner and an open bar for someone I barely know.

april said...

The guest list is frustrating. It's not easy for any couple. Ours caused many issues. I think we invited 200 and we got exactly 150 and that included the meals for the photographer and DJ (though some reception places will only charge you half rate for those meals). There is the possibility that people can't make it or will RSVP yes and then can't make it, but by then you've paid and it's not worth the stress to deal with at that point. You do have to invite the people you've given an STD to. It's only right. (Still snickering, btw over giving someone an STD, never gets old.)

Good luck and hang in there. At the end of the day, you'll be married and all this will just be a story to tell during anniversaries. No wedding can go smoothly or it's nauseating. You need stories to tell (like the DJ mispronouncing your name or like great-grandma passing out that morning). Grin and bear it and it'll all be worth it in the end. Promise.

Born to be Mrs. Beever said...

Oh girl how I feel ya on this one today! We had a guest list (budget and space accommodations) of 202 people. We mailed invites to about 218 thinking we'd definitely get that many no responses. Somehow, now we've mailed out invites for 232 people and my mom is insisting I add 2 more people to our list. My effin' family who said they wouldn't be coming from out of state has now decided they can attend...even though I haven't seen some of them in 20 frickin' years! WTF?!? It's so annoying...it's like our family decided to have a reunion at our wedding. We're talking cousins and 2nd cousins crawling out of the woodworks. Unlike you, I can't NOT invite family even if I never see/talk to them anymore. And like Kristian, my extended family is more than double the number of invited guests that Mr Fix It's immediate family adds up to. :( At this point, I am praying we get about 7-9 more 'no' responses but it's not looking good with just 39 days to go until the wedding.

Hang in there...I totally get how frustrating it is...let's just pray it works out for both of us.

Annie said...

oh my dear, i can totally relate!!
if it was up to my fiance it would be him and i and a judge. the thing with us is i do have a huge family but just because i'm inviting them does not mean they will show up. actually as sad as it is i'm guessing pretty much my dad's whole side of the family wont come besides a select few, he has a BIG family. they all live 4 hours away and even though we were super close growing up when we moved it seemed like we were kind of cut off.
i think my fiance has the same kind of thing going on with his family, none live close. so even though we are inviting 250 people (couples and kids), i'm guessing not even half will show up.
it is what it is though.
i know it can get really stressful and frustrating!
hun if you ever want to chat about this wedding stuff, let me know!!!
my fiance is the most stubborn man when it comes to wedding planning. he thinks everything can be done a month before!
i have a friend getting married a month before i am and her and i sit around and wedding chat for hours and hours. we are in similar situations, same situation as you.

Mrs T said...

We invited too many people too. It's so hard to cut down. But in the end I wished we'd invited EVERYONE. It will be worth it.

Ela said...

Oh hon, I wish you could skip all the stressful parts and get right to the good stuff :( But I know this will work out in the end, hang in there, honey. The big day will make it all worth it :)

Kristin said...

If this helps...We invited 175 and 125 came. I'm sorry about the stress. The big day will be here before you know it and you'll have forgotten all about it!