Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Agree/Disagree/Unsure

**Yesterday marked our 3 month point until the wedding. We are now in our last trimester of this wedding planning shiz!!

I mentioned last week that we were meeting with our pastor to start the pre-marital counseling this past weekend. Well our first meeting went quite well. I've met Pastor Steve briefly in the past but this was my first chance to really sit down and talk to him as well as Kristian's first chance to meet him altogether. I know Kristian was very apprehensive about the whole thing but fortunately he seemed to really hit if off with Pastor Steve and I think he's more onboard with using him for the wedding. Steve is on the younger side (39) and pretty laidback which we both like.

When we first got there we told Steve a bit about how we met, how long we've been together etc. He then told us about the test and how he uses that as a guide to lead our sessions. He said that it's not a pass/fail but they do prefer for couples to score at least 60% compatibility in each section. He said only one couple scored less than that, about 25% in each section which was really bad considering they already had a child together! He said they never came back.

The test consisted of around 170 questions that we had to answer on a Scan Tron...holy flashbacks to college! We had to answer each question with either Agree, Disagree or Unsure. We were allowed to sit at the table together to take the test and we didn't talk however there were several questions that we both found ourselves snickering on.

The questions are all worded in different ways so that you really need to read them correctly or you may end up agreeing to something you didn't mean to. Several examples of the questions were (I'm paraphrasing):

-My future spouse and I have agreed on when to start having kids
-I get along with my future spouses family
-I am uncomfortable with the amount of alcohol my future spouse consumes
-I feel infidelity is a valid cause for divorce
-My future spouse and I have discussed how will manage our finances

And my favorites-
-I am unhappy with the amount of television my future spouse watches ---this made me laugh b/c I totally watch too much tv!
-I feel that my future spouse could cause me physical harm ---ummm I wouldn't marry him if I felt that way!
-I am uncomfortable with my future spouse's homosexual tendencies ----BWAHAHAHA, I lied to Kristian and told him I agreed on that question :)

Overall I felt the test was pretty interesting though I don't think it can really determine your compatibility unless it shows that you and your fiance have just never had a conversation before. We will get the results back in about 2 weeks and based on that he'll determine what areas we should focus on. He also will be emailing me materials to look over to help come up with the ceremony and how we want that performed.

When we were leaving we passed my mom's desk (she's the office manager for the church) and were laughing about how clean and organized it is... my mom is a bit OCD...so we decided to subtly move a few items around to see if she would notice. So far she hasn't mentioned anything :)

15 comments:

carrie1 said...

I so remember taking that test!

My ex-husband thought it was ridiculous... which is umm... probably why we are divorced now!

(I blocked all of my bad juju's when I posted this)=)

Bicoastal Bride said...

I’m glad it went well, and after reading those questions, I can see why there’s only one couple who didn’t pass! I mean, like you said, if someone really had all those concerns about his/her fiance and had never discussed most of those things, why would that person want to get married?

Christin said...

Glad the test went well! I hope we get to do something similar! It would be interesting!

Jenni said...

haha, what a funny little test :) lol I'm glad everything went so well!!!

Nicole-Lynn said...

I'm glad you enjoyed it and the test went well. Our test was very similar... maybe the same? :)

miss fancy pants (the bride) said...

Haha, yeah, I always find it funny when counselors make couples take compatibility quizzes after they've been together 5+ years. We took one not long ago and it didn't teach us much, but I can see how it would help the counselor focus in on specific things. Glad it went better and that he didn't refuse to marry you like you were a little scared he might, haha.

Larysse Tavares said...

He he he he :P Good guys you two :)

Chocolate Lover said...

Sounds like you guys were able to incorporate some fun into this process! How did Kristian respond to your lie? Funny!

bananas. said...

Oh my gosh, that test sounds like a hoot. Pretty sure you can take a similar one online though its more official having a pastor score you. I would love to meet the couple that failed. They sound interesting. Ha!

d.a.r. said...

Too funny about the homosexual tendencies...that could turn out awkward, haha!

Mrs T said...

That test is full on! Hope you pass with flying colours. Ha

Jen said...

I actually can't wait to do this with my boyfriend someday! I would love to get my hands on the questions and just ask him some of them randomly over dinner to see what sort of discussion it brings. I'm glad you two enjoyed your meeting, and I'm looking forward to hearing how you scored and what the next meeting is like.

Gracie said...

We did a similar test. It was actually kind of fun :) We scored really well and the couple mentoring us were really happy about that :)

I'm sure you guys will be fine!

sarah said...

We took this test a few months ago with the Catholic church and laughed at the same questions!

But overall, I think it is a good measure of things that you might not have covered with each other!

Ela said...

I wanna write that test! I can't wait to see your *marks* but pretty convinced you two are made for each other :)