Before getting married I constantly heard/read that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I never really understood why, you have to assume most couples have been together for a while before getting married and most couples nowadays live together before getting married so why would a piece of paper and a new ring suddenly make it harder? I didn't get it and now that I've been married for just over a year I have to say that personally I still don't get it. If this past year was our hardest then we should be set for the next 50 odd years.
Now that doesn't mean that for some couples the first year of marriage isn't the hardest, so much of it depends on each couples life circumstances. Obviously if you have to face job loss, having a child, losing a loved one or any other additional major life event it will add more stressors to a marriage.
This is also not to say that Kristian and I never had our fights or disagreements because we certainly did. It's also not to say that we didn't face several very stressful events in our first year as a married couple because we certainly did. The first six months of our marriage Kristian was out of work and job hunting and I was carrying the financial load on my shoulders which IS NOT FUN. Thankfully he finally got a job and one that he loves which is even better. We also took on the fun task of buying our first home together while trying to short sell his condo. Yeah not exactly a stress free event. Oh and of course we finished out our first year of marriage with a brand new pregnancy which has been not only very exciting but very scary as well.
So was this past year hard at times, of course, but it would have been regardless of if we were married or not. Every year comes with a new set of challenges. For me personally I think the fact that we were married made going through the hard stuff easier, after all what other option did we have? We knew we couldn't and wouldn't just leave so there was no other choice but to work together to get through whatever life was throwing our way.
I think the key to getting through that first year of marriage, especially if you are living together for the first time or combining finances for the first time etc. is communication and compromise. As I said everyones circumstances are different so I'm in no way judging if your first year of marriage was your hardest but the point I'm trying to make is that if you are getting married or thinking of getting married don't be scared and don't listen to all those that try to freak you out about the first year of marriage and how tough it is because more than likely your first year of marriage won't be all that different from when you were dating/engaged. The biggest difference is that now if you can't work it out and choose to leave there are legal ramifications.
So tell me was your first year of marriage your hardest? Why or why not?