Friday, September 4, 2009

Emergency Contact

Yesterday I had my annual trip to the lady doctor which I was actually looking forward to because it meant I could get out of the office for a few hours...this should tell you how stressful work has been lately if I'm excited about having my hoo-ha examined. Anywayz I had to update my paperwork with my new address as well as my new insurance information.

As I was filling out the paperwork I had to fill out the section for who they should contact in case of first thought was "uh call 911 thanks" but I digress. In the past I've always listed my mom as my emergency contact because that's who spinsters list when they don't have a significant other to put. Just as I started writing down my mom's name I paused and then began to write in Kristian's name. I figure as my future husband he probably should be the first to know if something is wrong with me and even more so if there is something wrong with my lady parts. It sounds silly but having him as my emergency contact is very comforting.

My exam was pretty routine except for two particularly funny moments that I wanted to share.

Funny moment #1
Scene- The nurse is asking me basic health questions
Nurse- "Are you married?"
Me- "No but I'm engaged"
Nurse- "How many sexual partners do you have right now?"
Me- "Uhhhh One?"
Me Thinking- I'm engaged shouldn't that answer be obvious???? Strange they never asked me how many dudes I was banging back when I was single. WTF!

Funny moment #2
Scene- Doctor checking my heart rate and also asking me health questions
Dr.- "Do you take any vitamins? Calcium? Vitamin D?"
Me- "No but I drink a lot of milk"
Dr.- "What's a lot?"
Me- "I dunno, a glass a night"
Dr.- "You think that's a lot?"
Me Thinking- Well lady considering I may consume only about 4 total glasses of liquid all day YES I do think that's a lot. Milk does my body good.

Happy Weekend everyone!


Llama said...

HEHE! This is too cute! Your engaged...why are they asking how many partners you have? So funny! I feel like they always try to trick you when you go there! LOL!

Ela said...

You poor thing, yes, people are crazy and ask things you think are totally out there. And apparently not always monogamous, LOL.

Alicia said...

lol...they always ask me if i'm in an abusive relationship or if i'm scared of jordan! lol! i tell him to be nice to me or else i'm going to answer yes!!

bananas. said...

haha. that's funny. i always slutty people ever tell the truth when they ask you how many sexual partners you have? my slutty college roommate once answered 3 a was more like 30.

Jill Pilgrim said...

Dude, I think that's a lot too! I probably drink one glass of milk every ten years.

Elise said...

Hello, you have the most fabulously wonderful site here and I had to leave this comment for you ! Your posts are beautifully written, creative and original too, and you have interesting pictures.

It's all perfect !

Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes.... 'Happy September'....

Elizabeth Marie said...

Im with Jill...I never drink milk! Or anything except coffee. Oh but I put milk in that so does that count? Doctors like that LOVE ME...I am totes mcgotes a jerk on purpose...

Missed you lady! Happy to be BACK! WOOP WOOP!