Monday, March 5, 2012

Saying Goodbye

On Saturday we had the funeral for my father. We attended the viewing first, along with my brothers, my mom, her sister, brother-in-law and niece. I'll be honest I'm not a fan of open caskets regardless of how good the person looks. Dead bodies just make me uncomfortable and it's not the last vision I like to have of that person. I hadn't seen my father in probably six years so seeing him lying there was definitely strange and a bit uncomfortable but I went in to pay my respects.

After the viewing we rode behind the hearse to the cemetary for the burial. It was cold, gray and damp outside and seemed very fitting for the occasion. We met up with my dad's brother and his wife (they chose to skip the viewing) as well as some of my dad's extended family members most of whom I had never met or met when I was just a baby. There was probably about 15-20 people. It was small but nice. The Pastor gave a nice little sermon and my oldest brother who had planned the whole thing gave a really touching speech. I thought he did a great job especially given that we had so many ups and downs with our father. Even Kristian spoke briefly about how even though he never met my father he owed him so much for helping to create me and in turn our son. My mom told me that what Kristian said really touched her and she thought it was sweet that he spoke even though he had never even met my dad.

After the funeral we went to lunch to help celebrate my oldest brothers birthday which was Sunday. Not the best timing but since we were all together anyways we decided to make the best of the situation. After lunch at my family's favorite Chinese food restaurant we went back to my brother's condo to have some of the cake his girlfriend had made. He recently started dating a very nice girl named Melissa who has really been supportive through my father's hospital stay and now the funeral. This is certainly not an easy thing for a new couple to go through but she's really been there for my brother this whole time and I'm so grateful and I just hope she sticks around and perhaps become my sister-in-law one day because I really do like her.

I held myself together for most of the day and ironically the part of the day when I almost lost it was when my brother gave me the gift my father had bought for Hunter before he passed away. Since he didn't have my new address he had just sent it to my brother to give to me. There was a t.v. show about a cop on back in the 80's called Hunter and I actually remember watching it with my dad when I was little. Well when he found out his grandsons name he went out and bought the whole series on DVD for him to have and watch one day. The DVD is now in the nursery and one day when he's older we'll sit down and watch it together and I'll tell him about his grandfather and the good times I had with him.


Lacey Bean said...

I'm sorry to hear about your father. I know no matter what the relationship, it doesn't make it any easier. And I think that was an amazing thing of Kristian to do, give a speech when he had not met your dad.


Kristen at First Name Smith said...

Wow. What a moving thing to do. Despite it all and his problems, I am so glad he left this lasting gift for Hunter. (and for you). Thinking about you friend.

Heather said...

Your father's final gift to Hunter is beautiful, and I hope that in sharing it with your son someday, you'll both be able to carry on the happy memories from your father's life. I'm continuing to keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

I haven't had a chance to comment, but I was so sorry to hear about your father's passing.

I can only imagine the emotions you've gone through given your rocky past.

I hope you were able to find some peace with it all. What a wonderful gift for him to leave for Hunter!

beka said...

What a special gift for your son. I hope that as you continue to process all these emotions, you are able to find peace. I know rocky family relationships are really, really hard.

Thinking of you

Allie said...

I am so sorry about your loss! Lots of prayers for peace for you and your family! xo

april said...

I'm sorry for your loss, and I know you've had your ups and downs with your dad, but I am glad the last was a nice gesture.

I agree with open caskets as does my family. We have cremated and buried (which is weird in my opinion), but Rob's family is big into the open caskets like they don't believe the person is dead unless they see it. Is it more a Catholic thing? I just put everything I don't understand under the Catholic umbrella. :)

Nicole-Lynn said...

Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your father's passing. :(

AmyJean {Relentless Bride / Fry, The Baby} said...

I'm glad you made it through your father's funeral. I know it must have been hard for you. I think your father's gift was really sweet. I know that sometimes our parents don't always do or say the right things, but they love us nonetheless... I hope Hunter always knows his grandfather loved him!