In the six short weeks that Hunter has been in our lives we've already had some hard days. Pretty much all the days that Hunter was in the NICU, the day we had to leave the hospital without him, and the nights when he just WILL. NOT. SLEEP. And tomorrow will be added to the list of hard days because tomorrow my maternity leave ends, I go back to work and I have to leave my six week old baby at daycare.
I have nothing against daycare, I was a daycare child and I truly believe there are many benefits a child can get from being in daycare. But Hunter just seems SO young and little to be sent there already. Unfortunately we don't have a choice, I only received six weeks maternity leave and we can't afford for either of us to quit our job to stay home with him everyday.
This past Friday I took him to the daycare so they could meet him and so that I could drop off his stuff (diapers, wipes, change of clothes) so that tomorrow everything is setup and ready for him. And even though everyone there is perfectly nice and he'll be taken care of, when I got back into the car I just cried. I don't want to leave my baby with strangers. And even though they have FAR more experience with babies than I do, no one has more experience with MY baby than me. I've never been away from him for more than 2 hours since we brought him home from the hospital.
I don't know how I'm going to make it almost 12 hours without seeing my little man's smiling face or being able to kiss his cheeks until I annoy him. Maybe if I cry hard enough my boss will take pity on me and give me another few week of maternity leave... No? I didn't think so.
The worst part is doing the drop off which unfortunately falls into my lap since Kristian has to be at work earlier than I do. He gets the fun job of picking him up and spending several hours with him until I get home. If we could switch places I would in a heartbeat.
So today I'm spending as much time as I can with my little dude and just soak it all in and then begin the countdown until the weekend.