Today my lovely Bananas has a very interesting topic for her blog post. It’s actually funny timing that she posted this because a friend of mine and I were just discussing this recently and I had been meaning to write my thoughts on the subject.
When it comes to relationships everyone seems to have differing opinions on the timing of when an engagement should happen. For those that get engaged after less than a year of dating they often get the “are you nuts?”, “what’s the rush?”, “this will never last!” etc. etc. For those that date for years and years they get the “what took so long?”, “we didn’t think it would ever happen”, “it’s about time” etc. etc. Really, no one can win.
I’m in the first category of those that got engaged after less than a year of dating, in fact we were dating for only about six months when Kristian proposed. I’m pretty sure that more than one of my friends thought I was nuts or had doubts about whether we would last. To be honest I can’t say I blame them. I’ve always classified myself as a cynic, a pessimist and a wee bit judgemental at times. So if I were in their shoes I would have definitely been skeptical as well. I never imagined being one of those girls that would move so fast in a relationship. I had a plan… I would date someone for a year or two, get engaged, marry a year later, get pregnant a year after that and continue on until I had the white picket fence and 2.5 children. But as we all know life never goes according to plan.
Kristian and I actually started talking about marriage after only about 3 months of dating. WHOA right? I knew I wanted to marry him. I was 28, he was 30 and we both had spent the past decade dating/having relationships and knew what we did and did not want in a partner. And of course it was fun to talk about rings and weddings and what our life would be like but I didn’t really believe he would propose anytime soon. In fact I figured he would probably dump me a month later (I mentioned I’m a cynic right?). Well 3 months later he was down on one knee, holding out a ring and asking me to be his wife and I certainly wasn’t going to say no to this amazing man simply because he was ahead of some imaginary schedule I had in my head.
We’ve now been together for a year and a half, engaged for almost a year and living together for 8 months and I can honestly say things have only gotten better. Don’t get me wrong we have our fights and disagreements and we get on each other’s nerves but I have no doubts he’s the person I’m supposed to be with. We’ve already been through a lot together in our short relationship including job loss, major surgery, an international trip, living together and of course wedding planning which in my opinion is one of the most stressful things a couple can go through. There are so many emotions and family relations and financial aspects with planning a wedding…I know several couples that dated for years but then broke up during the wedding planning process. I also know couples that were engaged after only 3 months and have been married with kids for years while other couples who dated for years have already gotten divorce. You just never know what the future holds.
So after typing this brief novel my main point I guess is that regardless of whether a couple has dated for 6 weeks or 6 years by the time they get married, there are no guarantees. Unfortunately no one is immune from the possibility of divorce. People change and grow and you can only hope that you will grow together and that the love you have is able to withstand through not only the good but the bad as well. All relationships are different, what works for some may not work for others. Every couple should just go at their own pace and do what’s best for them. With that said...I still believe that all those Hollywood couples that meet and marry in the blink of an eye (I'm looking at YOU Khloe and Lamar!) are still destined for disaster...I did mention I'm a cynic right?