A Lot Changes in a Year

One year ago this morning I anxiously woke up and went into the bathroom, pulled out the digital pregnancy test I had bought the day before and took it. When I finished I laid it on the counter next to the toilet, not looking at it, afraid to see the result, and proceeded to start my normal morning routine of feeding the cat and brushing my teeth. I still didn't expect a positive result despite the very faint second line I saw on the cheap tests I had bought in bulk online the two days leading up to this one. After all this was only the second time I had actually ovulated since getting off the pill in November (yeah I have wacky cycles) and we weren't seriously trying yet. But I was tired of trying to determine if there really was a second line on those other cheap tests and decided to just splurge on a digital. I wanted words not lines to tell me if my life was about to change forever.

And after five minutes I took a look and saw the one word that did in fact change my life forever and in the best most amazing way! I started to shake a bit and climbed into the shower and cried. I cried out of happiness- I was going to have a baby!! Cried out of relief- my life long fear that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant was apparently not true. And cried out of fear- Holy Shit I was going to have a baby! And now I have to tell my husband who had only VERY recently gotten on board with the whole maybe having a baby thing.

The whole day was so surreal and unbearably difficult to not tell anyone especially when one of my coworkers brought her 7 month old son in for a visit and my other coworker brought her 4 month old granddaughter in for a visit, both on the same day, both on the day I find out I'm expecting a baby. Talk about amazing coincidence. But I had to wait, I had to tell my husband first and I wanted it to be in person.

I ran out to Target at lunch and bought a baby themed picture frame and put a piece of paper inside that said "Picture to deliver in 9 months" and a onesie that said "I Love My Daddy" to give to him that night. When he got home I gave him the frame and after what felt like forever he looked at me and said "I don't get it" Pause "Are you pregnant?" Cue the smiles and hugs and tears. It was an amazing moment that I will never forget and truly one of the best days of my life.

One year ago today I saw this...

And one year later I got to see this...

My amazing baby boy who is exactly 16 weeks old today.