"Why can't we remember a godd*mn thing from last night?" "Because we obviously had a great f***ing time."

This Saturday Kristian is leaving for his weeklong bachelor party down in the Outerbanks of NC. Yes you read that right I said WEEKLONG. Sigh. When he told me they were going down to the beach for a week I was all WTF… most guys get A night…maybe a WEEKEND if it involves going out of town. Then there are the poor suckers who aren’t even allowed to have any bachelor party. Never have I heard of a week long bachelor party. But because I pretty much rock as a fiancé I didn’t give him too much shit about it. I’m not worried at all about things like strippers or hookers…my first reaction when he told me he would be gone for a week was “but whose gonna make me dinner every night???” And no I’m not kidding.

Here’s the thing if he and his buddies were going to Vegas a la The Hangover THEN I might be concerned. I’ve heard stories of these boys from their younger years and honestly I’m amazed they survived their youth. Fortunately they are a bit older and hopefully wiser now and have outgrown a lot of their need for debauchery. When Kristian first started talking about his bachelor party he wanted to go Hog hunting out in West Virginia. See my future husbands idea of fun isn’t having nasty, STD plagued strippers shake their cash and prizes in his face…his idea of fun is killing innocent animals. Well it turned out that was going to be too expensive so his groomsman booked a 2 bedroom condo down in OBX for a week for pretty cheap…mainly b/c they are going in the middle of January when most sane people avoid the beach. I asked him if he wouldn’t prefer to wait until closer to the wedding AND when it was warmer but he said the fishing is good right now and this is when they wanted to go. Who am I to argue? So they will be spending a week drinking, fishing, smoking a cigar or ten and scratching themselves.

I must let you in on a little secret though, as much as I’ll miss him, part of me is pretty psyched about the prospect of having the bed ALL to myself sans snoring, watching bad reality tv without hearing him complain and not having to shave my legs. I can’t wait!

I just hope they remember one thing: "what happens in OBX stays in OBX. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.”