Monday, January 2, 2012

The Birth Story- Part 1

*super long post ahead*

Hunter's delivery into the world wasn't quite as smooth as I had hoped. I should start by saying that I never really had a strict birth plan in place, my birth plan was to have the baby in the safest and preferably least painful way possible. Ideally I wanted a vaginal birth but knew that a Csection could happen and ultimately if that's what needed to be done I was fine with that. Both my doctor and delivery nurse said it's better to keep an open mind because if things don't go the way you hope you are less likely to be disappointed and upset afterwards. I also have to say from the start that I love my doctor and my delivery nurse was awesome. I can't imagine going through what I did with anyone else.

So on Thursday night I went to the hospital to get the Prostin Gel put in to help me start dilating on my own. I was still only 1cm and 90% effaced. I got released an hour later and that night was rough. I had a LOT of cramping and backache and got very little sleep.

Friday morning we got to the hospital around 7:30 and immediately got put into a room and got the IV started. I was only about 2cm dilated at that point. They started the Pitocin around 8am and I started having more contractions but nothing too unbearable. Around 9:30 they came in to do the epidural so that they could break my water and turn up the Pitocin and keep things moving while keeping me comfortable. The epidural HURT! Holy God did it hurt, both when it got put in and then feeling the medicine run up and down my back. The anesthesiologist decided not to wait for the Local to take effect and I was in so much pain. Poor Kristian almost passed out, according to our nurse, the epidural is when most fathers go down for the count. It was the first time he had seen me in true pain and just couldn't handle it.

After the epidural was in I couldn't stop shaking for a good half hour but they were able to insert the catheter (which didn't hurt and is pretty awesome, I didn't have to get out of bed to pee for two days) and they broke my water where they discovered the baby had already pooped and there was meconium inside me. Finally I got to the point where I felt nice and numb all over and didn't feel most of the contractions. Ironically enough we ended up watching "Knocked Up" which was on t.v. Fitting eh? I progressed quickly and around 6-7cm I could really feel the contractions again, they kept increasing the epidural but for some reason it wasn't working in the one area I needed it to. My mom and brother were with me as well and helping me breathe through each contraction. They finally got the dosage right and I was able to relax and even doze off a bit.

Right around 3:30-4pm they discovered that my temperature had spiked to 103! They gave me some antibiotics but they couldn't get the temp to come down and Hunter's heart rate kept rising. The doctor checked me again and I was 9 1/2 cm, he had me do some practice pushes to see if I could get to 10cm but unfortunately I just wasn't ready yet and he couldn't wait any longer, he had to take the baby out so as not to risk any damage to him from my fever (he doesn't know why I had such a high fever, it was very unusual). So he told me we really had to do a Csection for the safety of the baby. I was pretty upset, after all that time and the painful contractions I hated that I had to have a Csection but knew that was what needed to be done.

They got me all prepped in the room and Kristian came in right next to me. The doctor started the procedure and asked me at every stage if I felt anything, for the most part I just felt some pulling and pressure which was normal. However, the last thing I remember was saying I felt a little prick. Apparently when he got to my bladder the epidural hadn't really kicked in on those nerves and I could actually feel some of the pain (again very unusual and he doesn't know why that happened). Supposedly I started saying "Ow Ow Ow" and the anesthesiologist had to knock me out (I don't remember saying Ow or feeling the pain on my bladder). The next thing I remember was waking up and Kristian holding a baby up next to my face.

Soooo I missed the birth of my son. I missed his first cry. I missed when the doctor held him up. And I missed seeing Kristian's reaction to seeing his son for the very first time (which was one of the things I looked forward to the most). Needless to say I was and still am pretty devastated over this. I realize it had to be done and I'm grateful I didn't have to suffer but after 9 long months and a fairly painful labor to miss the grand finale is pretty heartbreaking. I remember waking up and I just kept repeating "I missed it" "I missed it".

And poor Kristian was just terrified because the doctor didn't warn him that they were putting me out, so one second we're talking and the next I'm out cold and he had no idea what was going on. He asked the anesthesiologist what was going on and he responded in his very dry, Russian accent "She can't talk, she is sleeping". Again I had prepared myself for the possibility of a Csection but not the possibility that I would miss the birth, whoever thinks that will happen?? I've been holding it together pretty well but I have a feeling this is going to really hit me later once I'm home and all is well.

Once I got to recovery Kristian put Hunter in my arms and I got to see him for the first time, however I was still so incredibly groggy that I could hardly keep my eyes open or really focus on him. Our families then came in and got to see Hunter for the first time but they didn't stay long before I was moved into my post partum room.

Since this is already so long I will post part 2 at a later time, unfortunately things didn't get much easier after delivery....

13 comments:

april said...

He looks absolutely adorable. I don't think I've read any positive story about induction that didn't end in something going awry. It's great that you're writing all this down because I really feel like so many of the feelings are lost after only a short period of time. I've always heard of the baby amnesia, but I'm like how do you forget? It's just like you think you'll never sleep and how you've never been so tired and I don't remember any of it. Craziness!

I'm glad you had a nice Christmas though so that was a nice blessing followed by an even bigger one. Can't wait to hear and see more.

Lacey Bean said...

Oy that sucks! I also pooped before being born (so my mom says) and I also swallowed some of the meconium and was in the nicu for a few days.

Venassa said...

Aww I'm sorry you missed the parts you were looking forward to the most. How long were you out for? It drove me crazy when they stuck me in recover for over an hour by myself while my mom got to meet and spend time with the baby. I really wanted to be there for that. I didn't care that I couldn't feel my legs.
I was annoyed because I went through more than 14 hours of labor (about 9 of it was basically painless though) and come to find out I needed a c-section because the baby didn't turn, which they should've known in the first place.
I can't wait to read your part two even though you say it didn't get easier :( I hope you're at least doing better now!

Brittney said...

This made me cry... =(

I can't wait to read about all of the amazing things that are sure to occur from here on out!

beka said...

Oh I am so sorry to read this. I mean, I'm thrilled that your son was born, of course - but I can't imagine how disappointed and sad you are to have missed the moment that he was born. Every time I've been pregnant, I had dreams about my husband's reaction when the baby came out, which obviously I never made it to delivery to see that, but I just hurt so bad for you that you missed that :( I wish everything had gone perfectly for you but life is rarely that way, is it.

You're still his mama even though you were sleeping.

sarah said...

congratulations!! hunter is beautiful :)

Kristen said...

Oh no! I am sorry that you had to have a C-section (and was totally knocked out). I know how rough it is AND how rough the recovery can be so if you ever need to vent let me know. I was also so groggy after having Caleb that all I could think was I love him, but I just want to go to bed, I was so sad to feel that way.

It is sad to not have those memories, BUT you will have many more to cherish!

Take care!

Kristen said...

Also, he is adorable, I forgot to mention that in the last post!

~KS said...

Hunter is adorable first of all... second, I am so glad you and the little man are okay. BUT, I am sad you missed it. I think my heart would be broken too :(
BUT, like you said, you have this little man now to love for the rest of forever....

PS- also find it HYSTERICAL that you watched Knocked Up. Awesomeness.

KLaw said...

My heart is still so sad that you missed this. :(

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

Oh my heart is just breaking for you sweetheart! I am praying for you! Stay strong!

melifaif said...

Exact.same.thing happened to me....I will keep you in my prayers. You can't get that time back....and I know the "loss" you feel. But take comfort in having a healthy baby boy! Many blessings sweetheart.

McKeever said...

Bless you heart! I am so sorry you missed it but you have a lifetime of moments together!