I had my one week follow up appointment with my doctor so he could check my incision which looks great. He said I could increase my activity level, which is good since it's hard to be too lazy when you have a newborn. I had also lost 20 pounds in 12 days! The nurse was quite impressed. My belly seems to shrink daily and I'm slowly starting to look like my old self but with bigger boobs. Breastfeeding and living in a 3 story house where I go up and down the stairs a million times definitely helps.
I've been a bit of an emotional mess the last few days. Yesterday I broke down in tears over someone's facebook status (it was one of those "repost this if you love your mother" ones). Yeah seriously. I was lucky during my pregnancy that I wasn't super emotional and didn't cry much but boy is it hitting me now. I'm still struggling with the whole way the birth went down and get upset whenever I see someone have a baby on t.v. because I'm reminded of what I missed. I'll get over it eventually. I hope. And as with most new mothers I'm sure, I'm constantly questioning my abilities as a mother, especially at 1am when my kid has been crying for hours and nothing seems to help. Yeah, that's been almost every night this week. It's hard. But logically I know it's totally normal. Emotionally it's a different story.
Hunter has been doing well except for the whole having his days and nights mixed up. Tuesday night was awesome he slept in 3 hour stretches and would fall back asleep after being fed and changed no problem. However, every other night has been incredibly frustrating and tiring. We try to keep him awake for a few hours before bedtime, we feed him a big bottle, change and swaddle him and even play some music for him (he LOVES Bob Marley and Reggae) but so far it doesn't seem to be working at least not until around 1-3am when he finally wears himself out. Monday night I had a total breakdown and started crying because I felt like a horrible mother who couldn't soothe my child. Poor Kristian was stuck dealing with a crying wife and child. Have I mentioned my husband is a saint because he pretty much is.
Other than that Hunter is a great little kid (during the day). He's still eating like a little piglet and breastfeeding well and everyday a little bit more of his personality comes out. We have an appointment next week with a pulmonologist to see about getting him off this Apnea monitor.
If anyone has any advice for making this kid sleep at night I'm all ears.
Below are some more pictures and a cute video we took last night of Kristian making Hunter smile.
My two most favorite people.