Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Weighty Issues

So in addition to my wonderful experience with the Target cashier this weekend thinking I was already 9 months pregnant, I posted a picture last night on Facebook that Kristian took of me and my oh-so loving brother commented "Are you sure you're not having twins?" Since he's my brother I can't get too upset after all teasing comes with the territory of having a sibling but I will say it did sting a bit a first.

In my pre-pregnancy days I could never understand when pregnant women would complain about gaining weight or their belly size, after all THAT'S what comes with pregnancy. You're not Fat, You're Pregnant! But now being on this size of the positive pregnancy test I get it. I do.

Seeing your body change so dramatically, over a relatively short period of time is a bit of a mind f*ck. Logically you know it's what's supposed to happen. It's GOOD that it's happening. But the immediate gut reaction when passing a mirror (at least for me) is "good God, I'm fat" or "I definitely need to work out tomorrow" etc. But then I have to stop and remind myself (or have my husband remind me) that I'm NOT fat, I'm Pregnant.

When I first got pregnant I was excited about getting bigger (especially my boobs God willing). I couldn't wait to have a bump and for people to be able to tell that I was pregnant...and for the most part I still get excited about it but it's also been a harder transition than I anticipated. I've been tiny my whole life. Gaining weight has actually been a challenge for me in the past (yes I know that sounds obnoxious but it's true) so this is really a complete change for me having to adjust my way of thinking about my body and how it looks and has been harder than I thought.

Don't get me wrong I'm THRILLED to be pregnant. I would gain 100 pounds if I had to in order to have a healthy baby. And even if I never completely lose all the baby weight it will be worth it in the end but the whole body image issue is tough at times and seeing how I've grown quite a lot over the past month alone I find that I am a bit more self conscious about my rate of growth and if I'm "normal". I can't help but compare myself to other women that are pregnant and due around the same time as me, which is so pointless because everybody grows differently when pregnant. So long as my doctor says my weight and belly size are okay that's all that matters.

Anyways, there really is no point to all this blabbering except to say that watching my body change has been amazing and exciting but also difficult and I think a lot of women are scared to admit that for fear of appearing ungrateful for their pregnancies. So for any of you other preggos out there that may be feeling self conscious about your growing bellies just know you are not alone.


Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Okay do not listen to those people! I think you look gorgeous lady. That Target cashier obviously had no idea what they're talking about.

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

I don't think there's a woman alive who's been pregnant who didn't feel this way! If there is, they're lying! Haha.

And the grass isn't greener on the other side. I didn't really "pop" until 30-34 weeks. People couldn't believe how small I was and OMG was there something wrong with my baby. Gee thanks, just what a worrisome pregnant lady wants to hear. Nothing was wrong, I'm just tall and carried my weight everywhere instead of all in my belly.

Try not to let it get ya down. You look GREAT! And from what I can tell, it's ALL baby.

Teenage Bride said...

what you are feeling is totally normal. On the plus side if you are planning on breast feeding the weight comes right off

Meg said...

I hear you girl. I definitely get what your saying--I say to all the preggo people in my life that your not fat your preggo but I can understand the mind fuck that you are dealing with--it must be hard. I'm hoping I'll have to find out one day sooner rather than later.

KLaw said...

It doesn't make you ungrateful at all. Its frustrating. And emotionally and physically jarring. Kent tells me now that I was a whale at the end. (nice) But I think people say things without thinking. And unfortunately it doesn't end when the baby gets here. It'll be comment after comment about how BIG he is or how LITTLE he is for his age. How much hair he does or doesn't have. Pregnancy and motherhood forces your skin to turn thick.

Venassa said...

I used to get the twins thing all the time, but now that I'm down to my last few days, all I hear is how small I am. Sometimes people just dont know how to keep their mouths shut. Like when one sales girl told me good luck with my baby, then looked at my friend, who weights a bit more but is NOT pregnant, and told her good luck with hers too.

april said...

I was fine being the size I was throughout, but I did worry about losing the weight after. I was always small so that worried me. Plus, my belly didn't go down for like over a month which freaked me the f out. Then, it did around the 5-6 week mark. I actually lost the weight almost immediately after having the baby. I gained about 5-10 pounds after I stopped breastfeeding. It does bother me but not quite enough to diet or exercise.

You are totally tiny and ALL belly so it's just an adjustment. You look fantastic. Seriously. :)

Nellie said...

You are my pregancy twin! Nice to meet you, finally!!! :) Cept i'm dur on christmas, I get similar comments ... daily. I just try to keep my head in the game and focus on baby boy coming my way. I'm sure you look completely normal, people are just idiots. Yesterday when i was walking out the the gym, the receptionist said to me, When are you due? I said December (I have stopped saying Christmas), she said "wow thats going to be one HUGE baby" Awesome.

Anyway, I didn't come to vent, I came to say that I am happy I found your blog, And I understand.

Nicole-Lynn said...

I'm not pregnant, but I can only imagine how annoying that would be to have people constantly saying dumb things! And I have to agree with everyone else, you look amazing! I seriously think you look so adorable preggo! :)

Marian said...

So I'm catching up in Google Reader and literally just commented on how great I think you look!! Seriously, pregnancy suits you!!

AmyJean {Relentless Bride / Fry, The Baby} said...

I do the same and I don't mean to compare or have the immediate reaction of "oh boy I'm a heiffer!" But I totally do. And while I know each pregnancy is different and we all grow at different paces, I look at someone like you with a tiny frame and gorgeous big bump and think "I wish I could look like that!" Bc sometimes (since I'm a bigger girl) I feel that people still confuse me for fat and not pregnant!

So while I love being pregnant, I do think many of us go through those same emotions no matter how quick/slow our bumps grow! :)

Thanks for this post!