So in addition to my wonderful experience with the Target cashier this weekend thinking I was already 9 months pregnant, I posted a picture last night on Facebook that Kristian took of me and my oh-so loving brother commented "Are you sure you're not having twins?" Since he's my brother I can't get too upset after all teasing comes with the territory of having a sibling but I will say it did sting a bit a first.
In my pre-pregnancy days I could never understand when pregnant women would complain about gaining weight or their belly size, after all THAT'S what comes with pregnancy. You're not Fat, You're Pregnant! But now being on this size of the positive pregnancy test I get it. I do.
Seeing your body change so dramatically, over a relatively short period of time is a bit of a mind f*ck. Logically you know it's what's supposed to happen. It's GOOD that it's happening. But the immediate gut reaction when passing a mirror (at least for me) is "good God, I'm fat" or "I definitely need to work out tomorrow" etc. But then I have to stop and remind myself (or have my husband remind me) that I'm NOT fat, I'm Pregnant.
When I first got pregnant I was excited about getting bigger (especially my boobs God willing). I couldn't wait to have a bump and for people to be able to tell that I was pregnant...and for the most part I still get excited about it but it's also been a harder transition than I anticipated. I've been tiny my whole life. Gaining weight has actually been a challenge for me in the past (yes I know that sounds obnoxious but it's true) so this is really a complete change for me having to adjust my way of thinking about my body and how it looks and has been harder than I thought.
Don't get me wrong I'm THRILLED to be pregnant. I would gain 100 pounds if I had to in order to have a healthy baby. And even if I never completely lose all the baby weight it will be worth it in the end but the whole body image issue is tough at times and seeing how I've grown quite a lot over the past month alone I find that I am a bit more self conscious about my rate of growth and if I'm "normal". I can't help but compare myself to other women that are pregnant and due around the same time as me, which is so pointless because everybody grows differently when pregnant. So long as my doctor says my weight and belly size are okay that's all that matters.
Anyways, there really is no point to all this blabbering except to say that watching my body change has been amazing and exciting but also difficult and I think a lot of women are scared to admit that for fear of appearing ungrateful for their pregnancies. So for any of you other preggos out there that may be feeling self conscious about your growing bellies just know you are not alone.